Emotional intelligence is made up of four skills that represent the other side of smart—all the intellect (IQ) in the world won’t make you any more emotionally intelligent. And, unlike regular IQ, EQ skills are flexible enough that they improve with effort.

1. Self-Awareness – Your ability to accurately perceive your own emotions in the moment, and understand your tendencies in different situations.

2. Self-Management – Your ability to use your awareness of your emotions to stay flexible, and direct your behavior positively.

3. Social Awareness – Your ability to accurately pick up on emotions in other people, and understand what is really going on with them.

4. Relationship Management – The application of the first three EQ skills; this is your ability to use your awareness of your own emotions and those of others to manage interactions successfully.

There is a good chance you’re already aware of some of the benefits of developing EQ skills. You know that people with a keen awareness of their own feelings and tendencies—and an understanding of other people’s subtle emotional cues—are vital to the success of any organization. Yet, from talking to our customers and certified trainers, too many people in the working population are unable to put the power of EQ to work for them. Some talk a good game and make vague references to the "importance of people," but when the rubber meets the road they don’t make developing their EQ a priority. Others treat EQ as a luxury that they’ll get to if or when they finish their "real work." Still others harbor a darker belief somewhere in the recesses of their minds that EQ skills are only for the weak. Sure, it might help people be nicer to each other, but so what? In large part, people won’t work on their EQ skills because they need an answer to the age-old question: What's in it for me?